Confession time!!
Every day I have no clue as to what I am doing. Most days I am just winging it over here in the role of a special needs mom, and entrepreneur. There are times where I succeed, and others where I fail; then sit down and cry!! I should have been born a hyena as much as I laugh at myself. I adjust, I learn, and I move forward!!
This life of juggling being an entrepreneur and a special needs mom is like riding the Wild Eagle Roller coaster at Dollywood over and over again! It sure can make you dizzy, and it also can bring you to your knees humbled and grateful!
One minute you think you got it, and you are rocking and rolling, the next minute full blown meltdowns, technology not working, customer grievances, and just everything falling apart!!
There are many nights where I am up till 2AM cranking out content and goals, and then there are many nights he is up to 2 AM wired and ready to raid the refrigerator at the blink of an eye!!
There is a lot of questioning yourself and thinking you may be doing it “wrong”, or you could have done something different. Maybe you are just not cut out for this. Day after day you dive into mom groups, or entrepreneurial groups, looking for that magic secret sauce. But wait, you need to take care of you as well and there you are, now split into thirds!!
Your car is burning oil, ongoing hurricane repairs, yard work and gardening, oh and the therapies almost daily, and lest we forget not errands! You get 20 mins to relax in the afternoon before he gets home from school and you relize you haven’t even brushed your teeth for the day, never mind brushed your hair! You’re trying to get everything done in that 6 hour window while he is at school, emails, messages, phone calls, bills, errands, blog posts, videos, so that when he does you can be totally present there for his needs.
I really wouldn’t change a thing! It is insane most days, and it is a path that many don’t take nor would understand. It’s the most beautiful and humbling experience of my life and worth every second. I can’t imagine my life ever being different than the hot mess it is. I wonder sometimes maybe I was just made for this shit.
We are moms, women, entrepreneurs, warriors made STRONG AS HELL. We were given a path that is special and unique. We nurture everything that we come in contact with. From our families to our businesses. We adjust our time to make it work, we adjust our lives for them!!
When the house is quiet at night, and my thoughts run rampant from the busy days, I am grateful! It is a beautiful moment to look back and realize that it is all for him! When he choke holds me in his good night hug, I know that all the stress, heartache, exhaustion is worth every second.
Someone once told me and I was reminded recently that perfection doesn’t exist. You are who you are and that is good enough! Worrying about being perfect , worrying about doing things right, causes chaos and honestly don’t we have enough of that in our lives already! Give yourself huge high five mompreneurs. We got this.